Once upon a time, a co-worker asked what I was doing for the weekend.
"I'm throwing my friend a surprise party next weekend, so I've got to put all the Christmas decorations up and bake, bake, bake till I bake some more," I responded.
The aforementioned person laughed. "Oh. bless your heart. I have kids and I still manage to do all of those things."
Picking up on my co-worker's condescending tone, I hurriedly walked back to my desk, deciding it would be better not to respond.
I'm very ambitious. But I'm not competitive. (At least with my teammates.) I am competitive with myself. I enjoy pushing myself because I know that in the end, I'll have another great work experience under my belt.
I've been working on teams since forever. Since I started acting in plays in 7th or 8th grade. Then, I went to a college where I constantly worked on a team. While there, I worked on and off as a stage manager, which was an unusual skill for someone who preferred to act or write, but I figured I'd rather be working in theatre even in a role not very fulfilling, than waiting tables. And then, I kept getting management roles because many people start pegging me as the responsible, organized, detail-oriented one, wholeheartedly convinced that I was those things [and that a person who could do all of those things couldn't be creative, too.]
I've also been in a situation as a manager where an executive would say, "Creative people need xx and xx. Creative people need xx." Every time I heard it, it would make me boil. Finally I could stand it no longer and said, "Every member on your team is creative. Some just may be solving problems creatively, instead of fulfilling an assigned task where the end-product's more obviously creative." I didn't get to continue with my thought, which would have been, "It's offensive and frankly, I think you're devaluing my role in your organization." My manager thoughtfully replied, "Yes that's true. You're all creative or you wouldn't be here." But one day later, I heard it again with the "creative people need this" talk. Perhaps he was proceeding on autopilot, out of habit. Or maybe he was merely placating me in the moment. But it wasn't lost on me.
It's hard work being part of a team when your teammates and leadership inadvertently puts you down. Not to mention exhausting, belittling and demotivating.
Semantics matter whether you're on a team, leading a team, or an organization.
[image by marie-jeanne watson]
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